Friday, May 21, 2004

Stop thinking and start living!

Since this blog first went public, we’ve been inundated with calls, emails, faxes, and facetious remarks from off-duty police officers. Everybody wants to know everything about When crustaceans attack! What’s your position on Zimbabwe? What’s your take on the new Sichuan cuisine? What letter does 'pharmacopoeia' start with and where can I buy one?

To get a few of the obvious questions out of the way and let us get on with the serious job of providing 24-hour news and commentary every couple of days or so, we decided to post this list of official When crustaceans attack! positions.

Terrorism: against it.
Gay marriage: only in church.
Digital photography: sure, why not?
Teenage sex: never tried it.
Belgium: no.
Democracy: against it.
Sitcoms: only if they’re set in a doctor’s office, a bar or space.
Space: against it.
The music of REM: love it except for their early stuff before they went commercial.
Googie-egg and toast soldiers: yes.
In: the new out.
Neutrons: way better than protons.
Intolerance: yes, if it’s carefully considered.

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