Saturday, June 26, 2004

Guest bloggers: Federal Minister for Local Government, Territories and Roads & Cyndi Lauper!

I don’t have time to blog tonight because I want to watch something on TV so I’ve decided to hand the reins to two guest bloggers for the evening. Say hello to Senator the Honourable Ian Campbell, Australian Federal Minister for Local Government, Territories and Roads, Senator for Western Australia and to quirky songstress, Cyndi Lauper.

Senator Campbell: Good evening.
Cyndi Lauper: Hi Nick, thanks for having us.
Nick Crustacean: Look, you know how the machinery works. I’m just going to duck out to catch CSI: Miami. Go nuts. [Leaves].
SC: Thanks, Nick. Much appreciated.
CL: Yeah, thanks.
SC: So. [Pause.] Do girls just wanna have fun? Sorry, people must ask you that all the time.
CL: Not as enough as you might think. Not often enough.
SC: Ok, then. Do girls just wanna have fun?
CL: Mostly, yeah. Though fun is not as easy to come by as it used to be, ya know? [Pause]. How’re things going with you? Do you get enough fun?
SC:Oh, well, now that you mention it, I very much enjoy having Portfolio responsibility for Local Government and Territories and, er, and –
CL: Roads.
SC: And roads. Yes, thank you. Yes, it does give me a great deal of pleasure. I get immense satisfaction from, well, leading development in first-class policy in the area of local government, territories and, you know, roads. Immense satisfaction.
CL: Yeah? Doesn’t sound that exciting to me.
SC: Oh, you’d be surprised, really surprised at some of the issues that get thrown up. For example, to take an issue I was reading about in an industry paper about a fascinating infrastructure redevelopment project in your native Brooklyn –
CL: Wait. You read my bio?
SC: Never let it be said that I don’t do my research. For example, I know you turned 51 last week. [Pause]. But I’m sure you can still be like that girl in that song ‘Bop girl’.
CL: ‘She-bop.’
SC: ‘She-bop.’ Right. 51 is not so old, you know. Of course, I’m only 45 myself. But you know, as we grow older, we still try to have fun, in our own way, perhaps differently from when we were younger. You know, I really get a kick out of transport and regional policy. And I understand you still put the occasional record out. It’s all about keeping busy, even if you’re not necessarily tearing up the charts anymore.
CL: Look, when I agreed to do this –
SC: Oh, hey, Nick’s back.
NC: Wow, another amazing ep of CSI: Miami. Turns out the topless model who worked at the casino wasn’t really killed by the blow-gun dart made of lip-stick fired by the jealous ex-croupier but by a poison in her drink that was just a random mix of cigarette ash and the plastic used to make casino chips. Incredible.
CL: Huh.
NC: So anyway, thanks very much for helping out. Can’t wait to read the blog.
CL: Thanks.
SC: Yes, thanks very much. We should do it again some time.
NC: You know it. Time after time, heh. Goodnight all.
SC: Good night. Oh, I should add for the record that I’m also Manager of Governemnt Business in the Senate.
NC: Thanks, Minister, Cyndi.
CL: Yeah, bye.





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