Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Hazelblackberry: the dead tone

Dear Nick,

Spanner is on the phone AGAIN.

On the one hand, what do I care? She can talk all she wants as long as her work's getting done. Hells bells, let her talk all she wants even if her work ISN'T getting done. Let's not get all prudey about this like none of us have ever sat for an unconscionable amount of time at work on a private call.

But on the other hand: bugger me, I care.

I care from a humanitarian perspective. Why fork out heaps of money on day care only to ring them every half hour to check if your sprog is wearing this or doing that? Have mercy on these poor people just trying to do their job: they've only got 49 other little monsters whose every need must be ministered to with infinite tender loving care.

I care from a busybody perspective. She can spend aaaages winding up a phone call with her mum who has put the child on for excruciating minutes of kissy noises and farewells. "Bye bye, my love...bye...bye...I love you, my darling...bye...bye bye...kiss kiss...bye...darling, goodbye...I love you, sweetheart...kiss mummy...goodbye...bye..." Twice a day. Four days a week.

I care from a selfish perspective that when it's MY work that's not getting done then damn well get off that phone and do it. Especially when that work involves waiting for calls to be returned to you. Then we return to the humanitarian perspective: my heart bleeds for the frustrated souls trying to make those return calls who only get the "beep-beep-beep" signal in their ear. A sound that is only slightly less irritating than the famous midnight mosquito whine. Many is the eardrum that has been burst by a violent slap to the ear because THIS TIME you're going to get that little bugger.

Anyway...according to CrustyP I'm supposed to manage this. Struth! I have a hard enough time asking for flex sheets. I have to give myself a pep talk in bed the night before. CrustyP doesn't view learning how to manage people as a development tool, he sees it as a moral obligation.

"See, that's the one thing about Hulahoop," says CrustyP. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking Hulahoop, he's a great bloke, but - and I AM trusting you here, this really is between you and me - but Hulahoop doesn't know how to manage people, does he? And he doesn't want to manage people, does he? That isn't right, is it? You see what I'm saying. I mean, you ARE with me on this one."

I admire Hulahoop to have come so far with so few strings attached. What is that man's secret?? So I look. I say nothing. I see that I carry within me a fatal flaw that will forever darken the otherwise bright and sunny relationship between me & CrustyP.

This gives me pause.

Until next time, Nick. you...kiss kiss...


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