Thursday, July 15, 2004

Sweet taste, crisp, may regret consumption for all eternity

Genesis, Book 2.
3. But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

4. And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

5. For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

17 And unto Adam [God] said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

Haven’t we all been there? Looking for a little snack between meals, something to clear the palate and which won’t rot your teeth? So you scoop a Pink Lady or a Golden Delicious out of the fruit bowl, take one loud, crisp bite and suddenly it’s nothing but sin, death and expulsion from paradise. Dude, next time try a kiwi fruit. Not as sweet and you'll have to peel it but it doesn’t, you know, greatly multiply thy sorrow.

How much luckier, on the other hand, was Celtic mythological gadabout Finn MacCool who instead ate the Salmon of Knowledge (which itself had first nibbled on the Hazelnuts of Wisdom)? He didn't have fiery cherubim dogging his ass for chowing down on semi-divine crudites. And with a name like that, he is also the demi-god mostly likely to join a boy band.

(Incidentally, if you want to go out for a slap-up meal but also need to swat for a big exam the next day then it might be a good idea order something like baked atlantic salmon of knowledge stuffed with hazelnuts of wisdom, sage-butter and leeks, on a bed of steamed bok-choy. You can't go wrong.)

I might take myself off for a little bruschetta topped with the chargrilled eggplant of pointless erudition covered with a light crumbling of the oven-roasted feta of self-regarding smarminess. I find its just the thing to munch on while blogging.

(And thank you, by the way, to young Mark at not use lifts... for pointing out God Checker. Fun, fun, fun til Lord the Father takes your T-bird away and drops it on your disrespectful head.)

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