Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Life's lessons learned on a volleyball court

Is there any exclamation more useless in the English language than heads!

You're bent down, tying your shoelace when someone yells

heads!

heads? heads? does that mean I should look

this way?

Thwack.

I would prefer some kind of one-syllable code word which means: execute a 145 degree stunt-roll over your left shoulder now! But, oh, watch out for the...wall.

Next time a volley ball is pinging through the air, knocking molecules this way and that, headed for someone's scone, this is what I'm going to say:

I regret that it's me who has to inform you but there is a ball in the air on a rapid collision course with your head. I'd like to offer you some hope of escape at this point but it would make a liar of me. All that the ball and I can offer you is pain and humiliation. Look up now and I promise you I will only smirk.






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